How can you prepare when divorce seems imminent? Since divorce is not only a dissolution of a marriage but a splitting of finances and assets and potentially a custodial battle for children, it’s helpful to plan your steps well ahead of making a move to end your union. Here are five steps you can take now to assure the smoothest outcome in your divorce proceedings.
How to be mentally prepared for divorce
The best way to prepare mentally for divorce is to accept that it is happening. If all other efforts to make your marriage work have failed, understand that while you may not want this to happen and it may not feel right, this is your predicament. Start to seek out emotional help from friends, a support group, and a therapist. Do not resort to confiding in or talking badly about your spouse to your children or on social media.
How to be financially prepared for divorce
As soon as it becomes clear that things are heading south, start getting copies of your family’s financial documents, including you and your spouse’s paycheck stubs, tax filings, bank statements, receipts for purchases, and records of expenses and debts that will need to be provided to your lawyer. Prepare to amend wills and beneficiary designations on insurance policies to make sure that your spouse is no longer named in these. Open a separate bank account, remove your spouse’s name from credit cards and start saving money.
It is a good time to start budgeting for your life without your partner and to pay down debt while there are still two incomes. Cutting expenses and increasing income will need to become a priority. The sooner you replace your spouse’s income, the smoother your transition.
How to prepare for divorce when you have children
A big concern for those who are divorcing with children is who will get custody. To support your position on the matter, be sure to document who is involved in the daily care of your children. Obtain school logs to show who is involved in picking up the children, parent-teacher meetings and extracurricular activities. Since many parents are granted custody based on who is physically present in the home with the children, it may be advisable not to move out. In the case of any danger to the children, be sure to get police reports of past incidents or other records to establish any risk to their safety.
How to get the right divorce help
There is ample divorce help available to prepare you for what is to come. Divorcée Helen Thabile states, “I researched the laws in my state, checked out the online resources that the local court offered, then I hired a lawyer.” Start by establishing which state where you will file your divorce, as your state of residency may not have jurisdiction over your marriage. There are also instances where another state has better divorce laws.
Research lawyers, seek out recommendations from friends and family, and consult few of divorce attorneys to get a feel for who will be right for you. Some consider a mediator if things are likely to be amicable. Once you’ve retained a lawyer, be sure to be organized, provide them what they need before deadlines and be proactive.
What happens after the divorce is filed?
After the divorce is filed, make sure you follow the direction of your lawyer and the courts to assure things are done thoroughly and in a timely manner. Make sure the emotional, physical and financial well-being of you and any children are cared for during this time. Most of all, plan for your future so you can anticipate great things moving forward.
Nobody looks forward to going through the divorce process. If you need help as you prepare for the dissolution of your marriage, reach out to us today. Our divorce attorneys at the Thomas Hogan Law Office Modesto can assist you.